LONE THOUGHTS : DESIRE!!

I'm a monster that wants all and gives none,my desires drives me so crazy and occasionally I become afraid of myself. To me, as long as I have
friends, food, a house I own, a means by which I can get to wherever am headed, I don't need money because it's a need not a desire.

I desire to finally understand the feeling referred to as love .But I'm scared I might never meet someone nearly as deranged, obsessive, caring, jealous, about a person as I can be and I know I have never truly given myself to anyone
For the fear that I'm insufficient.

I desire to eventually have a family of my own then it seems like an illusive dream, no matter how much I try to grasp it, so I finally resolve to take pleasure in pain and pain in pleasure, thus, a feeling I can't begin to explain

I desire to have friends I would be willing to give up everything for but I guess birds of a feather flock together.
All that I have at this moment, are those exactly like me, willing to take and not give.

I desire to eventually wake up and feel at peace but even that is an ever fleeting feeling.

This desires afflict me,
I wish I could get rid of all these but they haunt me, so I immerse myself in thoughts that allow me escape this nightmare called reality if only for a second.

With each passing day, I feel strangled and all I ask is that I'm free of my desires, my afflictions, my cage, my pain !!!

I'm not STRANGE you just don't understand