THE MONSTER IN ME

Light flares before my eyes, my eyes stay squinted so the brightness does not flush out all thats left of my optical illusion, I still see it, faintly.

 Sweats roll down my beaten face, my beds soaked in bodily fluid, my skin hurts and my hearts trying to jump out of my chest, I still feel it, vividly.
 My head feels like  the big bang, its whoozy and heavy, I can't think of anything asides it, it makes my head hurt and I'm trying to flush the memory or whatever is left of it, out, but the more I try, the more I recall it to mind. I remember every last bit now, clearly.
 As much as I try to stop writing it, I cant help it, I must get this off my rack and I cant say it, if I try, I fear it'll materialize and become my fate.
My minds burdened with the thoughts that must not be said...
My mind is caged, not the thoughts, they now roam free in my heart, mind, head, body and soul. They scratch and gnaw at my flesh, I wonder then what cancer would feel like...
I wish this torture would end and my mind would be at peace, I wish I could tell you, but I fear your mind is not built for this much pain...
I bear all of this torture for you, for I can not tell you and you tarry not to ask...
Please, do not ask this of me, but your mind is too inquisitive to accept my plea, this one dies with me, for I can not live a day whilst you suffer.
As I leave, know this "the monsters that you think exist only in your head, are REAL" ...