MEMOIRS OF A FUNAAB BOY #5 (BY ANONYMOUS)

When Damilola had a bf, I was going to stay away from messing around and get myself a gf. I didnt even search, there was a wide range of girls to pick from in my hostel; there was the loud, the proud, the reserved, the cook, the foolish ones and the uglies.

I ignored all of these and went for the talkative. She already had a bf, she saw me as her best friend, I wasnt going to get locked up in the friend zone so I darted for her friend, I was gonna go through her. We'd just resumed and boys were already hunting, I didnt notice because I was having wild flings with Damilola.

Till date, she is my last gf. Her name is Ojo Tomisin K., not as crazy as Damilola, but when we talked I could smell wild oozing out of her gentle spores.

When I told her of my interest in her friend, she wrote it off telling me it wasnt a good idea, weeks passed and I tried changing her mind. During one of the trying-to-change her mind talk, we got lost and someone professed love to the other party. She was the other party, she wasnt sure of what to say to me, so I died the matter, she kept on bringing it back and I ignored.

I then started playing mind games with her. I wrote poems in corners where she would see me, she wanted a peek of what I wrote and guarded so heavily, for weeks I refused. Alas I kept the notepad where she could easily steal it in my room, and like fate would have it, she couldn't fight the lust. She read poems about how I fantasized about her, I'm sure they melted her heart into red hot bloody lava. I watched her blush as she read through its pages. She returned it like the smart thief she thought she was, all I did was sit back and watch my plan unfold: the unexpected plan.

I avoided any talk that included love, she was wanting to know if I did, I changed topics like the way f1 drivers changed lanes, I wasnt totally avoiding her topics, I wasn't just sure I had the right answer, at least not yet. 

I made it seem like I wanted her no more and in turn made her want me the more. 

She broke up with her bf, called in favors from friends to talk to me. At that point, I dont know what I felt, I was like-loving (the bridge between like and love) her already, I was caught up in whatever attractions I was getting. And finally I let her in, I let my guards down (boys! Dont ever, I repeat, ever! ever let your guard down) and it turned out to be the biggest mistake I made. We were active with the make outs, she always hammered on sex but I played quick mind games on her. And then she was never around, she made friends with some FSP guys and things went south quickly and then the rumors came, I chose to ignore them.

I played "black uncle Rodgers", hoping life would fix my problems for me and that she'll learn and change. Well the change came, only after Buhari became president. I let her go for her wild meetings with whoever she wanted to, and when I confronted her about the rumors, she'll deny them with a smile on her face, the type that says "who'll say such a thing about me", and I'll forget about it all. I was a fool but she was foolish to think I'll remain a fool forever. She started bringing her new guy around, disguising him as a friend, I held no grudge against him, I just kept away from him. I thought girls wanted to keep their selves for marriage (boys! dont be fooled), this one was anxious to throw it away, when I thought I was helping by not initiating her into that world, it was clear she had other plans of her own.

We - me and her, dated for a month, and then we - me, her and him dated for another 3months. I already lost hope in her, but she kept my bed warm from time to time, couldn't let go of that. 

Eventually, I had let go, I pulled the plug, she laughed at first, then she cried for a time longer than she laughed and then we made out. 

I told her if she changed, I might take her in again. She changed alright, she changed to another boyfriend, this one ... was my friend.